Archive

By Paul Epps

• Profiles in Management
  The Liar
• Requirements Are Boring
• Picasso vs. the PMBOK
• We Don't Have the Money, So We Have to Think
• Targets and Bullets
• High-Tech Turnaround
  The job market has turned around, if by "turned around" you mean "continued to disintegrate, but at a slower pace."
• Setting Expectations
  Medical professionals are very good at this. Software professionals are not.
• Fetch!
  How many times have you seen someone pretend to throw a ball to a dog, then laugh when the dog tries to chase it anyway?
• 10 Best Questions to Ask at the End of a Talk When You Absolutely Have To
• Three Experts Renounce the Waterfall
• 99 Rules
• Occupational Intensity
• Hacking Redefined
  Business schools redefine hacking as "something a 7-year-old could do"
• Depressing Job Posting of the Week
• Women Leaving IT Considered Discouraging?
• Disorganization
• Soul-Crushing Email of the Day
• Completion Percentages
  One of the enduring fictions of our business
• The Bomb Under the Table
• Profiles in Management
  The Baffled Bigwig
• Use the Database
  I find myself having way too many discussions about how to avoid the use of relational databases.
• Two Simple Rules
  If my life depended on delivering a project successfully, I would want to follow at least two simple rules . . .
• Man Plans, God Laughs
• Inspired Idiocy
  Follow all procedures to the letter, do exactly what you're told, and respond to all questions exactly as asked.
• High-Visibility Management
• A Tradeoff
  Do you want innovation? What are you willing to give up?
• The Comforts of Methodology
• Crafting a Mission Statement by General George S. Patton Jr.
  A simple declarative sentence shouldn't require an additional three-minute explanation.
• Like Father, Like Son?
  My brother and I try to steer our kids away from our own once-noble professions.
• Leadership Questions
  An exercise for the reader
• Profiles in Management
  The Tank Commander
• Another Depressing Interview
  I am so tired of people like this, jobs like this, interviews like this . . . glib, stupid answers from hiring managers . . . so tired . . .
• Heavily Quantified Job Posting of the Week
• High Failure Rates on the Web
  A quantification of something you probably already knew
• Management 101
  How to Demoralize Your Top Performers Into Early Retirement
• House on Fire
  When bad things happen to bad people
• Highly Selective Job Posting of the Week
• Mozart, Kent Beck and Me
• On the Wearing of Ties
• Cyclical Silliness
• Good News, Bad News
  The Programmer lands a new consulting job.
• Talking to Recruiters
  The Programmer has been out of work for more than two months now . . .
• Getting Tired
  The Programmer has been out of work for three weeks now . . .
• So Why Are We All Out of Work?
• Laid Off
  I guess I should have seen this coming when they eliminated free bagels on Fridays.
• Depressing Job Posting of the Week
• The Ultimate Morale Booster
• A Strong Hand on the 'Rudder'
• Contemplating the Void
• Seamless Integration
• Profiles in Management
• Understanding
  That's what I want.
• A Couple of Quotes on Software Design
• In My Current Technology Job, I'm . . .
  Survey SAYS . . .
• After the Gold Rush
  How the dot-com boom ruined the software business in 10 words or less.
• Hiring the Best Explained
  Guest columnist: Céline
• Edsger Dijkstra, 1930-2002
• Different Drummers
• The Outing
  Another morale booster . . .
• Technical Bestsellers
  What's hot in Iceland?
• Santayana: "I Told You So"
  Condemned to repeat the past
• We Were Programmers
  It's not like in the movies . . .
• Hiring the Best
  Say hello to our newest dog owner . . .
• Everything Looks Like a Nail
• Take a Hike!
• The Big Class Project
• Irony and Gravity
  Ironically, one of the reasons I got into software development in the first place was the opportunity to work with bright, educated people . . .
• Why Software Doesn't Work in 14 Words or Less
  "If the software doesn't have to work, you can always meet any other requirement." — Gerald M. Weinberg
• Radical Notions Debunked!
  Sophomoric programming strategies no longer confined exclusively to sophomores.
• Who Wants to Be a Salesman?
  Not this guy.
• A Bad Review
  Resemblance to persons living or dead is statistically probable.
• Specializing in Cripples
  If you can't fix it, feature it.
• Management 101
  Building an Anti-Quality Culture
• Profiles in Management
  The Intrepid Imbecile
• Why Is Everybody So Happy?
  Customer satisfaction in the Internet age.
• N-Tear Development
  The amount of weeping is proportional to the number of abstraction layers.
• Integration Chickens
  Handing a loaded gun to a (poorly) trained ape . . .
• Profiles in Management
  The Protector
• Lead Web Developer: No Experience Required
  You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
• The Winchester House Effect
  Bad change management
• Action Is Eloquence
  You can have a lot of bad qualities and still be an effective project manager, but you've got to work out your personal insecurities on your own time.
• The Programming Circus
  A brilliant essay

A work of historical fiction, mainly concerned with the decline and fall of a once-noble profession.

Archive:

• Profiles in Management
  The Liar
   
• Requirements Are Boring
   
• Picasso vs. the PMBOK
   
• We Don't Have the Money, So We Have to Think
   
• Targets and Bullets
   
• High-Tech Turnaround
  The job market has turned around, if by "turned around" you mean "continued to disintegrate, but at a slower pace."
   
• Setting Expectations
  Medical professionals are very good at this. Software professionals are not.
   
• Fetch!
  How many times have you seen someone pretend to throw a ball to a dog, then laugh when the dog tries to chase it anyway?
   
• 10 Best Questions to Ask at the End of a Talk When You Absolutely Have To
   
• Three Experts Renounce the Waterfall
   
• More . . .
   

Fellow Travelers:

• EppsNet: Notes from the Golden Orange
  Online journal based in Orange County, CA. Hilarious anecdotes tempered by the icy chill of certain death.
   
• Hostile Witness
  Notes, essays, japes, taunts and screeds. Occasional literary references.
   

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